Living Your Values

by Francine Gaillour, MD

in Aligning With Values & Purpose,Career Resilience & Fulfillment

Stop whining! Use “empowering language” to take personal responsibility for your situation and your choices.

Do you want to be in the driver’s seat? Do you want to communicate with clarity, power and intention? Listen to yourself speak and choose your words carefully.

Here are some suggested changes, from The Academy for Coach Training:

Replace “should” with “choose, desire or want”.

Examples: Instead of saying “I really should start looking around at some new options”, say “I want to explore new options”.

Replace “I can’t”, with “I choose not to”; replace “must” with “I choose to”.

Example: Instead of saying “I know I must make a change, but I can’t fit it in”, say “I choose to spend my time on activities that will move me forward in transition.”

Replace references to forces outside of you with “I” language.

Example: Instead of saying “the system makes me crazy”, say “I am frustrated by this situation where my values are not honored.”

“We have no integrity when we attribute . . . our feelings and emotions to someone else, or the weather, or to anything which we can’t control [and] deny our own ability to choose alternative behaviors.” —Julia Penelope

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